May 11, 2006

  • Wow, I haven’t updated in awhile.  Guess it’s about time to.

    Things have been going down at work.  My boss decided to move me
    over to batches (finally) and three replacements for my old job ended
    up coming in.  The first one had a “family emergency” the second
    day and pulled back to temp status, so she was let go.  The second
    one stuck around for the full two-week training period, after which she
    decided not to stay, but she said she would stay until we found a
    replacement.  The third one came in and trained for two days and
    then started to do my old job.  I don’t think she is even going to
    stay.  Maybe now my boss will start to understand why nobody likes
    that job.  They trained me on batches, and I picked up on it
    REALLY fast, as I should have, and I am doing pretty well at it
    now.  I haven’t had extremely busy days yet, but I am sure those
    are coming.  I am also going to be moved over to the phones
    eventually, but that will wait until after this month’s rush is over.

    I have had a couple of counseling sessions since my last entry, and
    while T-man is helping me make a lot of progress, I still have a long
    way to go.  We have talked a lot about my family and the external
    pressures I have been under my entire life, which have a lot to do with
    why I am the way I am now.  I still hate myself, I still can’t
    find a reason to live, and I still feel like I am a failure to everyone
    around me, but I think things are getting better.  I am really
    thinking about getting back into writing, since I think that will help
    me relax and feel like I am contributing something to life.  I
    have had a lot of ideas for my novel, so I think it is a good time.

    Mother’s Day is coming up this Sunday, and it is just another pressure
    on me.  My mom has sent me several e-mails reminding me of it, and
    has also invited me to Sunday dinner.  I don’t know what to
    do.  The situation will be very uncomfortable, especially since
    she is talking about doing a joint Mother’s Day celebration in Lowry
    City with her mom.  I think the major reason for all of this is
    because last Mother’s Day was not so good for her.  Last year, Dad reminded
    me several times in advance to call her, and I didn’t because I didn’t want to
    talk to her.  Finally Dad called me late on Mother’s Day and
    reminded me again, and he put her on the phone.  She ended up
    crying because I hadn’t called her, and it put me in a very
    uncomfortable spot.  I think this year she is trying to make sure
    things go better.  I still don’t know what to do, though.

    I plan to have some more religious discussions on here soon.  I always have issues I am thinking about.  Stay tuned.

Comments (7)

  • You should go see your mom on Mother’s Day. I know you may not feel like it, but hey–it’s her day, right? Make her happy for the day. Anyway, that’s my two cents.

  • Hey man, I’m proud of you for talking things out with the counselour. It’s very hard for some people to do that.

    I’m glad you are liking your new position, I hope it goes well for you until you leave.

    As for mom’s day, my advice is to do what YOU think is right. Let me also say that I had a lot of trouble getting along with my mom, and still do! When I moved back to KC, I moved into her house. When things got out of control once, I decided to live with my dad. Now, it did hurt my mom for me to leave but I talked things over with her and she sort of understands; however, from time to time she still wants to know if we could work things out and live together again.

    I still go out to eat with her, I still go over and visit, and still do things to help her out when I can. The thing is, she’s my mom and no matter how ignorant she can be of why we can’t get along when we live together, I still love her and let her know that.

    My situation is not exactly the same as yours, since my mom isn’t shoveling religino down my throat, yet I am still sure it hurts her the same for me not to live with her as it hurts your mom to not be able to know you’re following what she accepts as religion.

    Well, that’s my 5 1/2 cents.

  • Tell the T-man I said “yo.”

    I hope you figure things out with the mother’s day situation.

  • when your mother reminds you about Mother’s Day, that’s never a good sign.

    My mom used to be sneaky and remind me to send a card to my grandmothers.

  • how come you stopped leaving me comments?

  • There’s an opening at OReilly as a Mail Room Clerk.  Do you know much about that position, like what does it pay, is the job good or bad, etc. Any info would rock my socks off.

  • Unfortunately, no, I’m not looking for a place.  Although ironically, my current roommate and I just finished an exhaustive search for a third roommmate up in Bolivar.  I’m getting married in January, and when I get married I’m moving to Springfield, and would like to move my employment to Springfield as well.  I saw the O’Reilly ad, knew the benefits were decent and that you worked there, and wondered if it would be worth it to get a Springfield job early.  Haven’t decided yet whether to apply or not.  Just wish I knew what they paid.  I guess I could apply and if I get an interview I can find out.

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