January 26, 2005
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I was going to keep this private, but I really don’t care anymore. I am tired of covering everything up and continuing to act like the Christian I am not.
What is the true meaning of life? I mean, really, not just some cop-out church answer. I don’t care if it is true or not, or if it is phrased correctly, or if it is said with the proper intent. God, if He does exist, would not create a mind in us capable of thinking for ourselves if He wanted us to be slaves to semantics. God would not create a mind in us capable of reasoning things out on our own if He wanted us to be slaves to a book. If God really wants to give us a choice, then why would He intervene in this world at all? If He performs any miracles of any kind, then we do not have full freedom of choice. Remember the prime directive on Star Trek? You cannot interfere with a developing culture until it reaches out to you, otherwise it will be tainted and will not make its own choices nor fully develop its culture. Therefore, since it is impossible for man to reach out at all to God, divine intervention of any kind is just interfering with choice, and God then contradicts Himself by saying we have choice when we do not. Divine intervention and choice cannot co-exist, and if God does intervene and honestly believes we still have choice, then He is not the all-knowing God He is proclaimed to be.
Deism seems more and more realistic to me. I think a Creator of some sorts had to exist at some point in order to put this universe together. The Big Bang and evolution are just ridiculous to me. But after that, how do we know what the correct religious beliefs are? Many religions believe in Creator god(s), and even if I narrow it down to monotheism, there are still many out there. So how do we know which one (or more) is correct, if any are correct? The answer is always, “You just know” or “You have to have faith.” But all religions are firmly convinced, have “faith,” if you will, that what they believe is right. So that answer doesn’t cut it. I think religion is just a man-made method, firmly adhered to and passed down through many generations (sometimes bordering on brainwashing), of trying to reach out to a God that is not reaching out to us.
I think spirituality, as a whole, is just a higher order emotion, where you have hope in something that gives you strength enough to get through each day, and you are encouraged not to fear death. You have strong “feelings” (some call them “convictions”) about certain things, feelings that govern your everyday life and even your other emotions. There is nothing wrong with religion, per se, in fact, I think it is good, because it gives you something to live for. I am just beginning to wonder if any religion is really correct (or wrong, depending on how you look at it), and for myself I am leaning toward a Deistic approach.
I am sure some of you are scared right now, and are probably “praying for my salvation.” Some of you may even possibly agree with me deep down, but you do not want to admit it. Some of you are just ignoring this post as just some random spout. And some of you might even be angry that I have been playing the game for so long and have deceived all of you. If you feel that way, I am sorry I made you feel that way, but in reality, I think all of us are playing the game, and most of us are just not ready to admit defeat yet. I am admitting defeat. I just can’t do it anymore, and I can no longer keep it inside.
Anyway, take this post for what you will. I just can’t keep it bottled up inside anymore.
Comments (8)
I actually agree with you. I really think that I am in the same boat and it is something that I have struggled with for quite some time. I commend you for being the one to have the balls to fess up.
J
My first two years of school I constantly thought about that question, and finally decided I didn’t know and ignorance is bliss, so I just don’t think about it anymore. Thats pretty sad, I just refused to be challenged because life was easier to handle.
Hey George, I know we’ve talked about this some, and will talk about it again, but I’m glad that you’re willing to be open about what you’re feeling. I have dealt with much of this myself, though maybe not to the same extent. I won’t bore you with the standard (though true) distinction between a “religion” and a “relationship.” You know all this as much as I do. I would disagree, however, with the assumption that God isn’t reaching out to us. It seems to me that God has reached out to humanity throughout history. He just hasn’t forced us to respond. This is where I would differ from other religious beliefs and even “Christian” religious beliefs. I can’t reach God by trying, only by accepting God’s reach toward me.
If you ever need to talk things through again, you know I’m here for ya buddy. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Jason
And don’t worry, I really don’t think you’re going to turn me from what I believe.
We totally WON! Accept it!!!
J
hey! thanks for your comment on my site.
Hey– I’m not angry or ‘praying for your salvation’…I think that’s kinda dumb. you are defintely asking the right questions and I appreciate the fact that you aren’t keeping it all inside. so many people do that, and live a lie their whole lives. it’s important that you figure this all out now, when you actually have time to. because when it comes down to it, and you start your career, and adultish life, you won’t be given much free time to think about the more important stuff—> spirituality.
I’m defintely open to talk about this sometime with you.
you hang in there– and don’t fret. everything will work out– it always does. every new beginning is some other beginning’s end.
*Ivry
I heart George